No…


We always want to be nice, fit in a certain group, or we just never say “no” no matter what is the request…well, let me tell you something every time you say “yes” going against every fiber in your being–you may be helping or doing what somebody else wants; therefore making them happy, but you won’t be happy…

This is not about being a mean, grumpy man/woman–this is about doing what you want to do, doing what makes you happy, or doing what you know is right. When you say “yes” when you really want to say “no” you are not hurting anyone else but yourself–you see is not bad being nice; it’s bad when you do what others want going against everything you believe in…

Saying “no” does not make you a mean, grumpy, angry, or anti-social person–saying “no” gives you power over your decisions, gives you a better judgement, and allows you to not do what you don’t want to do…

When I started saying “no” people would call me a mean SOB–I would wonder “why”; but I want to tell you that when I said “no” not only did I feel good but it allowed me to control what I believe was right…You see people is not bad to say “no” sometimes–and I am not saying  to say “no” to everything; I am saying to “only” do what satisfies your body, soul, & mind, to do what you want to do because you want to do it, & to do what you believe is right…

If you still need help; let me give you my top 5 things I say “no” to:

  1. Anything that will hurt my family in any way.
  2. Anything or anyone that tells me to “give up”.
  3. Fear & pain–when it tells me to stop fighting.
  4. Anything that is going to cause me harm, death, or lockup.
  5. Anything that goes against my morals, values, or beliefs.

You see I use to be a “yes” man; but that only caused me pain, uncomfortableness, and suffering…sometimes it went against everything I believed in–but I just wanted acceptance. Now I understand that the first and only person who should accept me for who I am, what I have to offer, and why I am here–is none other than “myself”.

When I learned to say “no” to things I didn’t agree on–the person asking me got very mad, but I was at peace with myself; and I tell you that is the best feeling ever…so if you are a “yes” man/woman stop it and start doing what you want–and you can start by saying “no”

“…Many of us grow up to be people pleasers. The word “No” drops out of our vocabulary, and we substitute lots of ways to be agreeable and keep the other person happy. Saying “No” to the authority figures is not expected. And underneath it all we believe that saying “No” can cost us a lot in our adult life.” ~ Linda D Tillman, PhD

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