What makes you a real man…


I asked this question to all my male family and friends, and they gave me a lot of answers…then I asked my female family and friends, and they gave me a lot of answers…when I analyze all the answers; I realize that men have a different view to this question than women…I also realized that some answers does not make you a real man…

Being in this world for 29 years, having 2 surgeries, 2 strokes, living in the city streets for a brief moment, being married for 8 years, having 3 kids and the 4th one on the way…doesn’t make me an expert in what is a real man; however, it gives me a sense as to what is and what isn’t a real man…There are many reasons, but I have chosen the top 5 reasons of what doesn’t / what does make you a real man…please read and comment if I am wrong…remember before you comment this my opinion…

WHAT DOESN’T MAKE YOU A REAL MAN…

  1. Sleeping around does not make you a real man…just because your goal is to sleep with many women; that doesn’t make you a man…in contrary, it makes you stupid…you know how many diseases are out there, and how the percentage of getting these diseases have increased…you know what is the saddest thing…that many of these men that sleep around don’t use protection…they sometimes wont realize their stupidity until they have already caught a disease, or are dead…
  2. Having babies does not make you a real man…I knew men, whether it was through work or school that had more than 5 children…weren’t with their kids…and wanted more…It enrages me that a man thinks having children and abandoning them makes him a man…in contrary it makes you a coward…because you are running away from your responsibility…raising kids is hard, but there is a saying I heard all my life, “If you had fun making it, then you should have more fun taking care of it…”
  3. Being lazy does not make you a real man…I know men, unfortunately some are in mine and my wife life…that let their wife sweat, work 2-3 jobs, hustle, and take care of the house…while, they play X-Box 360, PS3, or the Wi…then they have the nerve to complain when something goes wrong…really…my school counselor & church counselor engraved in our heads…that the only way you get to enjoy the spoils of this world; is if you work hard, sweat profusely, and cried tears of pain…
  4. Having no goal in life does not make you a real man…all I have to say, is that when you was a child everything was handed to you…now you are a grown man…nothing is handed to you or it shouldn’t be…you should work for everything…in order to accomplish that you must have some type of goal…One thing that irritates me; when I speak with younger generation than me and they tell me they had a hard life, they shouldn’t work…society should take care of them…I looked at them trying to contain my laughter…and tell them, “Life brings you many obstacles, the obstacles don’t define your character…what you do about it defines your character. Sometimes you will have the correct answer or the wrong one…but having no answer is not an option…cause whether society takes care of you, or you man up and take care of yourself…life will always throw you obstacles…”
  5. Believing that you are owed something does not make you a man…I have been a victim of racism, stereotypes, derogatory comments because of my race…however, that doesn’t make me believe that the government should give me grants, or special loans for my business or school…I believe that a person no matter their color, race, or gender should work hard, sweat, and cry tears of pain for everything they want in life, and not believe that they are owed something…the only people in my eyes that are owed something are the men and women that risk their life’s to defend our freedoms…and, yet I see them in the street homeless, no medical insurance…or living a tougher life after their tour…what is wrong with America??

WHAT MAKES YOU A REAL MAN…

  1. Being faithful makes you a real man…if you decided to be in a relationship, then be committed enough not to cheat…If you want to sleep around or be a “mujeriego”, than be single…It hurts the children when they catch daddy or mommy with another guy or woman who is not daddy or mommy…Don’t be in a relationship or get married, if you are not willing to be faithful…
  2. Being a dad makes you a real man…taking care of your offspring whether it’s with the woman you created them or without her makes you a real man…how many kids I grew up with that don’t know who their dad is or knew their dad; but didn’t have him in their lives…it’s sad when you are man enough to make babies…but, not man enough to take care of them…two words…grow up…
  3. Being a provider makes you a real man…if you have a family or are in one, take care of your responsibility as a man…don’t use nothing as an excuse…I have had 2 open heart surgeries & 2 strokes…and I still have my own business and work hard each day…Don’t let your wife be the only one sweating, breaking her back to give you and your children a better life…unless, you can’t physically move…get off your lazy butt and work…
  4. Having a plan makes you a real man…I never go into a contractual agreement without knowing the answers to the “what if” scenarios…life is the same way in a sense, you shouldn’t say “yes” to everything or become committed without having a plan…you cannot foresee everything, but having a plan helps when an obstacle arises…don’t be the one to run away when the storm comes…confront it with your plan, and if doesn’t work…go back to the drawing board, and confronted with another plan…keep doing this, until the storm vanishes and it’s a sunny day…but, please don’t “give up” or not “have a plan”
  5. Fighting for success makes you a man…don’t think for a second that because you are a certain color or from a certain race…that you are owed something…Our ancestors, grandparents, or parents where slaves, in the holocaust, killed because of their color…not “us”…so don’t use that card as a way to get out of fighting for success…because just like Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. fought for equality, Raoul Wallenberg fought to save tens of thousand of Jews, or Simon Bolivar fought for freedom…we have an obligation to ourselves to fight for success…if we don’t fight, everything our ancestors, grandparents, or parents fought for was in vain…so stop being lazy, thinking you are “owed” something and fight for your success…don’t let someone else take your victory, because you didn’t want to fight….

So young men who are graduating from high school and entering the “real world”…I urge you to be a real man and not a fake one…cause you are only hurting yourself…And for those men that are pass their high school years stop playing games and take care of you and yours…it isn’t society responsibility to take care of your off-springs or you…it is your responsibility; because until you step up, you will never belong into the group of a real man

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